First Birthday
by ginchy-amanda
Summary: Welcome to Jack and Erica Bing’s first birthday!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own Friends, but I sure do miss them!

First Birthday

"What do you mean you're not coming to the twins' birthday party!"

Chandler awoke to find his wife angrily wiping at the dresser in their bedroom with a soft cloth while she clutched the cordless phone in her hand. He sat up groggily and blinked, trying to adjust his eyes to the bright light filtering into the windows and onto the bed. Monica had been in a cleaning frenzy for days, cleaning things she didn't really have much time to clean now that she was the mother of two active nearly one-year olds. But now her cleaning had only been magnified as whoever wasn't coming to the twin's party had triggered her anger-cleaning complex.

Monica continued to swipe her hand back and forth over the dresser, wiping at the now non-existent dust, and suddenly made a low growling noise at the back of her throat.

"Oh, you and Ross," so it was Rachel, Chandler thought, "are going away for the weekend? Hmmm…I seem to remember that Chandler and I were doing the same thing on Emma's first birthday weekend! Only we never made it on our trip and neither are you!"

Monica turned around and faced Chandler, eyes widening when she realized he was awake. She pointed to the phone and took it over to the base, putting it on speaker so that Chandler could hear Rachel's explanation, too.

"….Mon, it's just that the twin's birthday is my and Ross' one year anniversary. We're going away to celebrate. Come on—you remember what happened on our _last_ one year anniversary…"

"No!" Monica said, throwing her dust-rag at the phone. "Don't try to play the sympathy card!"

"Hmmmmppph!" Rachel sighed into the phone, "Fine. Fine! We'll be there. But I think Ross was going to propose tonight, so if he doesn't, it's going to be all your fault…"

Monica's eyes and her forehead vein looked ready to pop out of her head. Chandler couldn't resist jumping in. "Rach…of course he's going to propose. Today or _someday._ It's ROSS."

Rachel made a small screeching noise and said, "We'll be there at 3," before hanging up.

"Oh, my God," Monica began, "Sometimes I can't believe her…" she was cut-off by the phone ringing before she could finish. "Hello?"

It was Rachel, "Oh, by the way—I found the cutest little matching outfits for Jack and Erica! I can't wait for you to see them!" The line went dead.

Chandler sat listening to the dial tone and looking at Monica's now smiling face. He flopped back down and sighed. He had a feeling that this was going to be a long, long day.

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He dozed again and woke up a bit later when Monica came in and dumped the twins right on top of him. He grunted a bit with their weight, but smiled when he noticed that Monica had already put party hats onto their heads–a gold princess crown on Erica and a purple king's crown on Jack. The babies giggled at being dumped on the bed and proceeded to crawl all over him, babbling their little baby words and poking him in odd places with their knees and elbows.

He sat up and kissed each of the babies hello, tickling Erica to elicit a grin and blowing a raspberry on Jack's arm. He looked up and noticed that Monica had left the room and hoped that maybe she was off to bring the three of them breakfast in bed. After all, he was among royalty. Chandler chuckled at his own joke.

"So, kiddos," he said, holding up one finger, "you're 1 year old today! Where did all the time go? I remember it like it was only yesterday that I was changing your diapers and getting up in the middle of the night to soothe your crying...oh, wait...that _was_ last night! That's right." He smiled at the babies. "Are you excited for your birthday party today? Little Miss Erica, are you excited? What about you, Jacky? How does it feel to be 1?"

He looked at the twins and they smiled back at him, Erica pulling her princess crown off her head and handing it to him, saying, "DaDa."

Chandler smiled and took the hat, placing it on his own head. "Thank you," he said, making silly faces at her until she laughed. Just then Monica entered the room and laughed asking Erica, "Why is Daddy wearing your hat?" Erica threw up her arms and laughed and allowed Chandler to place the hat back on her head. He brushed her white-blonde curls down with his hand and turned to Monica noting that she wasn't bearing a tray full of breakfast items. Instead she was holding a box and had a mischievous look on her face.

"What is that?" Chandler asked, immediately suspicious at the look on Monica's face, "Mon, what's in the box?"

Monica smiled, putting the box on the bed and handing Jack and Erica each a Zwieback cracker. "Now, remember, honey–this is for your children. They'll only have ONE first birthday."

"What's in the box?" Chandler asked again, feeling nervous. "It's not that pink bunny suit again, is it?"

"Shoot!" Monica said, "I should have thought of that! But, no...it's something better." She opened the box to reveal a full clown outfit, complete with a red nose and blue wig.

"A clown? I don't know about this...won't that scar them for life? Check that, won't this scar _me_ for life?"

"Oh, come on! Please? For me?" Monica leaned down and kissed him, full on the lips, trying to persuade him. He didn't look convinced when she pulled up, so she took the clown nose out of the box and placed it over his nose. The babies, preoccupied to this point with their Zwieback began to laugh, raining crumbs all over the bed. "If not for me, then for them?"

Chandler looked at the expectant face of his wife and the seemingly expectant faces of the babies. "Okay, okay. Fine. I'll be a clown. But if I can't ever return to the circus it is your fault. And if I'm a little too good at applying the stage make-up...then...we won't mention it to _anybody._"

Monica smiled, kissing him quickly on the cheek. "Okay!" she exclaimed, "We've only got 4 hours until the guests get here! You give the twins' lunch while I grab the dust-buster for those crumbs! Then we'll only have a little time for them to nap, and for us to get you dressed and all the food ready..." Monica was off and running, in her element.

Chandler looked at Jack and Erica and grimaced. He stood, picking them both up, and kissing their cheeks. He leaned his forehead in between the both of them. "Just remember kids...this is how much Daddy loves you." The babies, seeming to understand, patted his cheeks. He smiled at them before leaving the room to take them downstairs for lunch.

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We were talking in the Merge! Thread of Friends-Boards about Jack and Erica's first birthday. I thought I'd take a crack at writing about it...there will be at least one more chapter, perhaps two. Thanks to the guys and gals at Merge–thanks for the inspiration! I hope everyone enjoys:)


	2. 2

Two hours later the babies were still sleeping peacefully after having had lunch and Monica was in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on the individual cakes that she had made for them. Upstairs Chandler was seated in front of Monica's make-up mirror attempting to apply his clown make-up, under strict orders from Monica to not mess it up. He had taken a moment to check the internet for ideas, but after running across one too many clown-porn sites, he decided just to wing it.

He was already wearing the bright red clown suit and big blue shoes, and reflected that the only other time he had felt like such a jackass was when his father had made him dress in a yellow rain-slicker and galoshes to dance back-up for him during a performance of "It's Raining Men". And at least then the only make-up he had to wear was pancake facial makeup to keep the glare off of his forehead from the stage lights.

Chandler shuddered at the thought and picked up the white face paint, wondering why his father never felt this uncomfortable in his make-up. Deciding that he didn't really want the answer to that question, he hesitantly began applying the paint, thanking Monica silently for reminding him to shave before attempting to apply it. After applying the paint, he moved on to drawing the enhanced smiling mouth around his own. It didn't look too bad, he thought–he may even actually have done a good job with applying the make-up so far. Hoping that ability wasn't actually genetic (and figuring that if it was he had certainly gained the gene from BOTH of his parents), he opened a package with eye make-up crayons, looking to the back for some guide of how to apply it.

"How's it coming, honey?" Monica asked, entering the room just as he was trying to decide whether or not to go with hearts around his eyes like the clown on the package.

Chandler turned and Monica squealed, running over to inspect the make-up. "Oh, you look great!" she cried, "Here, let me help…" Monica took the crayon from him and also made the decision for him, drawing a few small hearts near the crease of his right eye. She then placed the red nose over his own nose, and helped him to pull on his blue wig.

"Oh," Monica sighed, seeing him completely pulled together as a clown for the first time, "Jack and Erica are going to love this! Thank God we bought that new digital camera and photo printer doc! I think I'm going to get a lot of good shots today."

Chandler had to admit that he didn't look too bad, in fact, the whole effect was kind of...cute. Oh, God, there he went again...it seemed that ever since the babies had been born that his vocabulary had undergone a real change. Words he had rarely used before, such as _precious_, _adorable_, and _cute_ had popped up and he couldn't seem to stop using them. And that was fine, in regards to the babies, or even Monica, but when it came to using the words for himself...

Thankfully, he was pulled out of his reverie by the sound of the doorbell. Erica's cried out from the noise, and Monica headed for the nursery while Chandler was left to answer the door. He stopped to pick up an oversized blow-up hammer that came with the costume and walked to the door, pulling it open to reveal Ross, Rachel, and Emma, all of whom looked at him with blank expressions.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Ross said, grinning evilly, "I was looking for my sister's house. Not _Bozo's_."

"Ha, ha," Chandler fake laughed, "very funny, Ross. Don't make me hit you with my hammer," he said, holding up the prop. "It's nice, however, to see you, Rachel. And you, Emma," he said, bending down to tickle the little girl with his free hand.

Emma laughed and lifted her arms for her uncle to lift her up. She honked his nose and asked excitedly, "Can you make me a balloon animal like the clown at the zoo?"

Rachel, skirting past Chandler, patted him on the shoulder. "Good luck with that," she said, winking at him, "but I _do_ like what you've done with your make-up."

Emma's giggles drowned out Ross's guffaws.

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"Oh, Rachel," Monica cried, holding up Jack in his little sailor suit and admiring Erica in her matching sailor dress, "I love their little birthday outfits. Thank you so much."

Rachel grinned, smoothing down Erica's dress from where she sat in her lap, and made room for Emma who was also trying to fit into her mother's lap.

Ross sat on the couch next to a heavily pregnant Phoebe, and she was explaining that Mike was visiting his ill mother and couldn't attend the party. "It's just as well," Phoebe said, running a hand over her extended abdomen, "these parties can be real snoozers sometimes."

Ross nodded, ignoring the glare Monica was sending him. "Rach and I actually had other plans..." he said, and Phoebe sat up in rapt attention.

"Were you going to propose?" Phoebe shrieked, looking over at Rachel and flashing her a thumbs up.

Ross nodded, but widened his eyes at Phoebe, nodding towards Rachel and making a slashing 'no' motion with his hands. Phoebe nodded and winked, while Rachel looked down at Erica and began fussing with her dress, pretending she hadn't heard anything at all.

"But," Ross continued, "we're happy to be here with our little niece and nephew on their first birthday."

Phoebe cleared her throat, but smiled over at Jack and Erica. "Of course," she stage whispered, "but really–what's the ring look like?"

Jack and Judy Geller stood in the doorway with Chandler, Judy very obviously straining to hear what Ross was telling Phoebe and Jack waving and making silly faces at his little namesake. They were still waiting for Chandler's mother to arrive before they could begin the party. Joey was unable to leave the filming of his TV show to come to the party, but Nora, on book-tour in nearby Connecticut, said she wouldn't miss the party for the world. She was even bringing her new boyfriend, the pirate model from the cover of her book. Chandler couldn't_ wait_ to meet him, and at his children's birthday party nonetheless.

Little Jack toddled over to his grandfather, raising his arms to be picked up, and as Judy finally went over to sit next to Ross Jack moved closer to Chandler. Little Jack reached over and helpfully removed his father's wig, throwing it to the ground and laughing, pointing to it with his chubby finger. Chandler laughed and reached down to pick it up, just as the doorbell rang to announce his mother's arrival. He jammed the wig back on his head, and pinched his son's nose, before he headed for the door, opening it to reveal his mother in a skin-tight leopard print dress kissing a well muscled young man.

They broke apart, the young man blushing, and Nora looked closely at Chandler for a moment, trying to discern if the clown was, in fact, her son. After a moment she threw her arms around him.

"Hello, darling!" she cried, "We're here! This is Juan, my lover. Sorry we're late…we were a bit…busy this morning." Nora laughed, winking at Juan. "Now, where are my darling grandchildren?"

Chandler gestured behind him and Nora and Juan squeezed past him into the house. Turning to follow behind them he noticed that Juan had his hand on his mother's ass. As they walked into the family room, Chandler cringed. _Could _his children's birthday party _get_ any more interesting?

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a/n: Okay, this part ended up really being filler to get me to the next, and last, section. I had to get all the guests to the party. Joey will make an appearance in the next chapter, just not in-person. I can't wait to write that part—it's going to be really fun, I think! I can't believe today is May 6…one year since Friends went off the air. I still miss it!


	3. 3

"..._dear Jack and Erica, Happy Birthday to you!_"

The gang was gathered around the kitchen table singing the birthday song to Jack and Erica, and Chandler was leaning in between the two high-chairs ready to help the babies blow out their candles. He blew as hard as he could as soon as the song ended and ended up blowing out the candles and losing his red clown nose in the process. He sheepishly leaned down to pick it up form the floor, and came back up to see Jack holding up a fist full of chocolate from his cake, while Erica had chocolate all over her, even in her pale hair, and Monica was in a frenzy, snapping pictures of every cute moment, blinding everyone with her enthusiasm.

After cake, it was time for presents, and the group moved back into the living room for it. Monica sat on the floor in front of the couch with a baby on either side of her, and Chandler began handing them their gifts. As usual, the babies were more interested in the wrapping paper and bows the gifts were wrapped in, so Rachel allowed Emma to help the twins open their gifts.

From the corner of his eye, Chandler noticed his mother and Juan sneaking out of the room, and he sincerely hoped that they weren't heading upstairs in search of a bedroom, but he had a suspicion that was _exactly _what they were doing.

After the presents were opened Monica gave Chandler a _look_ and gestured for him to _do something_ to entertain the guests and the children. This was the moment Chandler had been dreading all day, but after spending 2 hours in his clown make-up he was beginning to feel comfortable. He took the large blow-up hammer out of the pocket in his clown-suit and hit himself over the head with it, causing it to squeak, and the kids to howl with laughter. He began to ham it up, dancing around the room, and making funny faces at the babies. At one point he thought he heard Judy murmur to Ross, "_Emma's _party was much more tasteful," but he couldn't be sure over the laughter coming from the kids, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe.

Chandler was having a great time, hamming it up, when he began hopping backwards towards the doorway, but tripped over his large shoes and fell flat on his back. The kids laughed, but Monica gasped, jumping up to run to his side. He lay for a moment staring up at the ceiling, right as his mother and Juan came back down the stairs and stood, confused, over top of him. Chandler noticed that Juan's shirt was buttoned incorrectly and his mom's dress looked a bit...torn...on the side. Chandler closed his eyes and lifted his head, thumping it back down onto the hardwood floor.

"So," Nora asked brightly, "are there any party games?"

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The phone rang and Monica answered it on speaker.

"Hey, Mon!" the voice on the other end exclaimed, "Hey, Chan. Hey, Babies, and...everyone else that's there!"

"Joey!" Monica cried, grinning. "I'm so glad you called!"

Everyone began calling out greetings to him, as Nora, Juan, Jack and Judy left the room for the kitchen in order to clear the room a bit and give the friends a bit of privacy.

"Hey, hey," Joey called, after a few minutes of everyone talking to him all at once, "there's enough Joey for _everyone_. But, today, I've called for my little niece and nephew. Are they there?"

Ross snorted. "No, Joey, they're out meeting with their accountant."

"What?" Joey asked, "Should I call back?"

Chandler hit Ross over the head with the blow-up hammer and said, "No, Joe. They're right here. Would you like to sing to them?"

"Well, maybe in a minute. But, first, I have a surprise for them. And, if I've timed it right, it should arrive...right...now." Joey paused, and Monica looked up at Chandler, confused.

After a moment or two of silence Chandler said, "Uh...Joe? Nothing has happened. What are we waiting for?"

Joey groaned. "Something should be coming to your door...NOW!"

After a moment, Monica spoke up. "Still nothing, Joe."

"Damn-it!" Joey cried, "If this were a movie the timing would have been perfect! Okay, then...NOW!...NOW!...NOW!"

Just then, on Joey's third "NOW!" the Bing's doorbell rang. Joey yelled out in triumph and Chandler went to answer the door. The man at the door looked at him skeptically for a moment, but then looked down at the clipboard in his hands and smiled.

"Kids birthday?" he asked, nodding his head towards Chandler's attire.

Chandler shook his head. "Nope, the wife has a _thing_ for clowns."

The man coughed, surprised, and handed the clipboard over to Chandler for him to sign. He signed for Joey's gift and moved aside for the man to move the gifts inside.

Once in, Monica gaped at the size of the presents and ripped into them, not even bothering to pretend the babies were helping. The gifts turned out to be two beautiful toy-boxes, a light purple one for Erica and a light green one for Jack. Each box was personalized with the baby's names and had nursery rhymes engraved into them.

"Oh, Joey!" Monica cried, choking back tears, "They're beautiful! Thank you so much!"

"Yeah, man," Chandler said, putting his arm around Monica and watching as Erica and Jack both pulled themselves up on Jack's box, "thanks. This makes up for having to dress as a clown today."

Joey laughed. "Are you wearing _makeup_, dude?"

Chandler grunted in reply.

Just then Phoebe piped up, "Hey, Joey! Guess what! Ross is going to propose to Rachel tonight!"

Joey cried "Yeah, baby!" just as Ross cried, "_Phoebe!"_, and Rachel, again, acted as if she hadn't heard anything at all.

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Later that night, Monica and Chandler stood over Erica and Jack's cribs, smiling down at their now 1 year old babies.

The party had broken up soon after Joey had called, with Nora and Juan leaving in a rush of kisses and promises to return soon. Phoebe had left a few minutes after that, but not before wishing Ross and Rachel luck, telling Ross that surely the "fourth time would be the charm". Jack and Judy left with Emma, taking her home so that Ross and Rachel could celebrate their anniversary. Judy had been teary eyed, clinging to Rachel's hand and saying how pleased she would be to soon call her 'daughter'.

Ross and Rachel had left last, Ross pulling Chandler aside to see Rachel's diamond ring, while Rachel hugged Monica tightly, whispering how nervous she was, and how excited.

Monica smiled up at Chandler from where she leaned against his chest, turning in his arms to lean up and kiss him as he had just removed the clown makeup, but still wore the clown suit and wig.

"Can you believe that a year has passed since they were born?" Monica asked, looking back over her shoulder at Jack and Erica's cribs. "It seems like they've always been with us."

Chandler smiled fondly down at his children and nodded. "I know. I just hope the rest of their 18 years with us don't go as quickly as this one has. And I hope I don't have to wear this clown suit every year..."

Monica hummed her agreement, but slapped Chandler lightly on the arm for the clown suit comment. They exited the room after turning down the lights, and headed for their own bedroom, Chandler sitting on the bed and patting it sexily, after adjusting the wig on his head. "Why don't you come over here, little girl," he said, smiling.

Monica giggled. "That would be sexy if you didn't look like Pennywise."

Chandler nodded, and laughed himself. "Come over here, anyway," he said and she complied, coming over to once again kiss him on the mouth. She began to lean in to him but jumped back as she pushed on the blow-up hammer that was still in his pocket and it gave a loud squeak.

"Oh, my," she said, giggling, "is that a blow-up hammer in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

Chandler laughed and pulled her down on the bed with him. "Monica," he said, pulling back a bare inch from her lips, "I'm _always_ happy to see you."

Maybe dressing up as a clown wasn't so bad after all.

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I hope everyone has enjoyed this story as much as I've enjoyed writing it! I just love to read about Monica and Chandler parenting...and I think Chandler dressed as a clown for his babies would be adorable! I'd like to thank everyone for all the kind reviews! You've been great!


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